Recently we were privileged but saddened to attend the memorial service for a dear friend we’ve known since we were all single during the Jesus Movement back in the 70’s.
She had battled cancer for over two years, and tragically the outcome went the opposite way of how it should’ve, leaving behind a grieving husband and family who never thought they would see this day in this season of their lives.
During the service, several things were shared that brought us both right back to “that day,” 16 years prior when we were memorializing our son in the very same room––the emotions swelling in our chests, the tears, the pain, the memories.
Sixteen years prior!
As we’ve often shared, grief is not normally something that goes away within the first year of a loved one’s passing. Depending on the relationship and circumstances, it stays with many of us the rest of our lives, until we are reunited in Heaven at the end of this earthly life.
I recall early on, friends of ours were surprised we were still struggling with grief only nine months after our son left us. Yes, we laughed and even joked at times, worshipped, and enjoyed aspects of life and friendships. But they didn’t see us in the moments when we still deeply mourned, the days we were once again paralyzed from the grief, and the constant wrestling with the Hows and Whys of this journey. We missed our son so terribly, and we still do!!
The husband of our dear departed friend said to us, “Now I understand why it took you over 10 years to write your book…” expressing the feeling, until you walk this road, you just don’t, or CAN’T comprehend the devastation that takes place in your soul. And though others may feel, It’s been over 10 years! When will they ‘be over it,’ the grief has become a journey that almost never goes away, and takes A LOT of time to process.
We want to encourage you to be patient and very compassionate with your grieving friend or relative. What they need more than anything is an understanding heart, a listening ear and a boat-load of kindness to keep them a-float.
It won’t always be as difficult as it may be in the first several months or few years, but your loving support can help make a meaningful difference in their journey of recovery.
Resources for Understanding Grief
To understand grief more fully—and be able to help others survive grief and loss—order our book:
When Loss Comes Close to Home: Finding Hope to Carry On When Death Turns Your World Upside Down.
Whether you’re grieving or walking beside someone who is, our brand new USB, “The God Of All Comfort” offers real hope, real help, and heartfelt wisdom.
Helping Heal Broken Hearts,
